I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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