im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
