oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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