I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize