she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
