if you like me you must not know who I am
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
