I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize