The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
