"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Mom said you looked used
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize