your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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