If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
