I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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