dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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