Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
