You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
