I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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