I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
