if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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