You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
