So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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