Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
