So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
