If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize