there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
