he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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