No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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