We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize