Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
