i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
