ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
