if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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