Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
