the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish you could order shots online.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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