fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't deserve a penis
Just high enough for therapy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
