I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
