if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
