so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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