It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
