Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
