I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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