i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
