Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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