my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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