i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize