your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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