To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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