i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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