After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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