she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
