Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize