its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
