Buhtt sex?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
