There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
