i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
