This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
