Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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