woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
