butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
