ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
