Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
