You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
