Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
