my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
