I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
