THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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