A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
