there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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