are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
