we have officially lost it.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
