i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
