My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
